Subtle changes...mean a lot to me.

In my previous post, I wrote about my recent mapping and the fact that it had been almost two years since my last mapping. There I described some of the changes that were made and used the terms; some gains, and small adjustments. In day to day hearing, subtle changes to a map might not be that notable, but today I had the chance to listen to a CD while in the car for about 50 minutes. The difference in the music was enough to choke me up. In the sound of music the changes were very notable. 

I was listening to Styx Live. This CD is different from a studio recording. Some of the songs are longer and they talk in between sets. I used to skip around if the song was too long and I couldn’t always hear what they were saying when they talked because of the crowd noise. The music and talking sounded so good today, I didn’t want to miss a thing. 

It will be a joy listening to my music collection. There are all kinds of new sounds there! This motivates me to continue to reach for perfect bionic hearing. Though it may be in small steps - every gain counts. I know the perfect bionic ear is coming. If not in my lifetime, maybe yours.

Still Changing and Learning for Better Hearing

After a long stretch of not being mapped, I worked with a new audiologist to map my cochlear implant hearing. Since it was his first time working with me, we did word recognition tests in the booth with both ears and then each ear alone. Both ears together were at 86%, left ear alone 80% and right ear alone 20%. I was a bit disappointed that the right ear has not come along as well as the left - but I love the hearing I get with both together and would not choose to give it up.

After the assessment, we then set up for mapping. I did the tones on each side and did have some gains on the right as well as small adjustments on the left. It had been a long time (almost two years) since I was mapped. It felt good to be getting reset. Since it had been so long, I couldn’t remember exactly how we mapped for both ears together. My audi asked me if I wanted to map and attempt to match the ears electrode by electrode. I knew I had not done that so I decided we should go for it. 

We started with the first low tone. Wow! They sounded very different. On my left side, my first implant, I have the Clarion HiFocus Electrode with Positioner. The sound of the first low tone is rich and deep and seemed normal for its position on the scale. On my right side, which has the 90K HiFocus Electrode, the tone sounded like it is several notes higher than the left side. My starting point there is not as low and rich as the left side. If you compare it to the song Do Re Mi, the left starts at Do and the right starts at Mi. We talked a bit about why the two sides may sound so different and then we decided to finish the mapping based on how speech sounds.

Before this mapping, I thought a lot about how I use my cochlear implants. I’m not one to change the settings very often, so three slots seems to be plenty; however, while we were talking about it, I think I could have used five! I decided to have my daily map in slot one. In two we put the telecoil on as it seems I have had more opportunity this past year to use it. Slot three is my noise program. My new audi was pretty aggressive with the settings for shutting down background noise. In recent years, I have not had the IDR below 60. He put it at 40 and we talked for a bit. It was great, but I decided I could handle a little more background sound and asked him to put it at 50. He did that and also removed the boost to the low tones.

I had the opportunity to fly this weekend and tried out the noise program while traveling. It was great! I could still hear the announcements but I didn’t have to put up with the drone of the airport noise or the airplane noise. I simply told my husband to be sure he was near me when he wanted to talk. 

I have had my first cochlear implant for ten years and with the help of audiologists’, I’m still finding better ways to hear. Although I have been bummed when an audiologist I have gotten comfortable with retires or moves on in his/her career, it is always a joy to meet someone new and learn from their experience. 

Ten Years Ago

Ten years ago today I was healing from my first cochlear implant surgery and waiting for my activation day. I was recovered enough to go back to work and since my job did not require phone communication, I was back at my desk doing proofing and data entry. I was living in complete silence with hope that the cochlear implant would ease my struggles with communication.

It was just another day to pass while waiting for the big activation day. The waiting was hard as my mind was filled with constant wondering about what hearing with a cochlear implant was going to be like. The distraction of work was a good thing until there was a change in the people around me. I could see them talking, but nobody would tell me what was going on. The co-worker next to me was crying and though she was usually willing to talk to me so I could read her lips, she was unable to even look at me and tell me what was going on - until she was able to say, “Paula is okay.” My daughter Paula is a flight attendant with United Airlines.

After my mother-in-law had called the office and told the receptionist to tell me that she talked with Paula and that she was on the ground in Cincinnati, my co-workers then did their best to tell me what was happening. Some of them decided to leave work early so I did too. I wanted to know more about what was going on and I needed a TV with closed captioning and the comfort of familiar communication with family. At home, I watched in silence the horrors of the attacks and the updates the media provided. The captioning on my TV being my link to the world.

Today, I remember the horror of September 11, 2001. I pray for my country and my fellow Americans and find comfort in the tributes and memorials created in the process of healing. As I reflect on all this, I am reminded how far our souls travel from sadness to joy and silence to sound.