Thankful for Health and Hearing

There were some rough patches for our family during the 2011 holiday season which served to enlarge our blessings with the contrast of getting through some moments to celebrating others. Due to illnesses with a daughter and grandson, I found myself in emergency and hospital rooms more times than I care to remember over a two month period. We all value health and it is during these times we are reminded to be grateful for it. So we start off 2012 recovering, being well and looking forward to living well.

During one of my daughter’s hospital stays, I had the opportunity to share how I hear with a senior resident. He said they tend to go over cochlear implants fairly quickly in medical school and he was truly interested in how I hear with them. He was genuinely surprised at how well I hear. The conversation moved along without any phrases like “pardon me” or “I’m sorry, what did you say?” The doctor admitted that had no one told him, he would not have been able to tell that I don’t have natural hearing. It was fun to share with him and I enjoy every opportunity to educate medical professionals. Fortunately that conversation took place when the doctor and his team were preparing to discharge my daughter and things were looking up that day.

It was approximately a month later, on Christmas morning, that I was in the emergency room with another daughter and her son. Her husband was unable to go with her because he was sick and we were taking their one month old baby boy, Jared, to the hospital. I was glad I was able to be there for them. It is hard when they are so young and blood draws and an IV are needed. I watched as the RN explained to Paula, my daughter, how hard it can be to get an IV into a baby and that often they have to try twice. Upon hearing this I immediately began to pray for Jared asking God to bless the nurse’s skill and help her to get it the first time so that this precious baby boy only had to be poked once.

Paula was helping to hold Jared and I was sitting in a chair at the side of the room. The nurse had her back to me and I had my head down praying. After giving it to God, I sat there just listening and waiting. The nurse and lab tech were taking there time with the process. When I sensed the RN was ready I was holding my breath. Before I took in any air, I heard her say, “Well there is your Christmas present. That is a Christmas miracle right there!” The IV was in on the first try. I sighed a prayer of relief, “Thank You Jesus,” and then I smiled for Jared. When I realized how well I had heard the nurse I smiled again and sent another thank you to the Lord for my hearing. A little while later, a diagnosis was made and Jared was admitted to the hospital for treatment. He was discharged after three days and continued to recover at home.

On a daily basis, I experience the extreme of complete silence to being able to hear most everything once my AB cochlear implant processors are on.  You would think after ten years that I wouldn’t still be amazed by this, but I am. I will never take my hearing, my health, or the health of my family for granted. Now that I have had some recent reminders of how precious all that is, I will try to remember to thank the Lord for it all every day.

Subtle changes...mean a lot to me.

In my previous post, I wrote about my recent mapping and the fact that it had been almost two years since my last mapping. There I described some of the changes that were made and used the terms; some gains, and small adjustments. In day to day hearing, subtle changes to a map might not be that notable, but today I had the chance to listen to a CD while in the car for about 50 minutes. The difference in the music was enough to choke me up. In the sound of music the changes were very notable. 

I was listening to Styx Live. This CD is different from a studio recording. Some of the songs are longer and they talk in between sets. I used to skip around if the song was too long and I couldn’t always hear what they were saying when they talked because of the crowd noise. The music and talking sounded so good today, I didn’t want to miss a thing. 

It will be a joy listening to my music collection. There are all kinds of new sounds there! This motivates me to continue to reach for perfect bionic hearing. Though it may be in small steps - every gain counts. I know the perfect bionic ear is coming. If not in my lifetime, maybe yours.

Still Changing and Learning for Better Hearing

After a long stretch of not being mapped, I worked with a new audiologist to map my cochlear implant hearing. Since it was his first time working with me, we did word recognition tests in the booth with both ears and then each ear alone. Both ears together were at 86%, left ear alone 80% and right ear alone 20%. I was a bit disappointed that the right ear has not come along as well as the left - but I love the hearing I get with both together and would not choose to give it up.

After the assessment, we then set up for mapping. I did the tones on each side and did have some gains on the right as well as small adjustments on the left. It had been a long time (almost two years) since I was mapped. It felt good to be getting reset. Since it had been so long, I couldn’t remember exactly how we mapped for both ears together. My audi asked me if I wanted to map and attempt to match the ears electrode by electrode. I knew I had not done that so I decided we should go for it. 

We started with the first low tone. Wow! They sounded very different. On my left side, my first implant, I have the Clarion HiFocus Electrode with Positioner. The sound of the first low tone is rich and deep and seemed normal for its position on the scale. On my right side, which has the 90K HiFocus Electrode, the tone sounded like it is several notes higher than the left side. My starting point there is not as low and rich as the left side. If you compare it to the song Do Re Mi, the left starts at Do and the right starts at Mi. We talked a bit about why the two sides may sound so different and then we decided to finish the mapping based on how speech sounds.

Before this mapping, I thought a lot about how I use my cochlear implants. I’m not one to change the settings very often, so three slots seems to be plenty; however, while we were talking about it, I think I could have used five! I decided to have my daily map in slot one. In two we put the telecoil on as it seems I have had more opportunity this past year to use it. Slot three is my noise program. My new audi was pretty aggressive with the settings for shutting down background noise. In recent years, I have not had the IDR below 60. He put it at 40 and we talked for a bit. It was great, but I decided I could handle a little more background sound and asked him to put it at 50. He did that and also removed the boost to the low tones.

I had the opportunity to fly this weekend and tried out the noise program while traveling. It was great! I could still hear the announcements but I didn’t have to put up with the drone of the airport noise or the airplane noise. I simply told my husband to be sure he was near me when he wanted to talk. 

I have had my first cochlear implant for ten years and with the help of audiologists’, I’m still finding better ways to hear. Although I have been bummed when an audiologist I have gotten comfortable with retires or moves on in his/her career, it is always a joy to meet someone new and learn from their experience. 

Ten Years Ago

Ten years ago today I was healing from my first cochlear implant surgery and waiting for my activation day. I was recovered enough to go back to work and since my job did not require phone communication, I was back at my desk doing proofing and data entry. I was living in complete silence with hope that the cochlear implant would ease my struggles with communication.

It was just another day to pass while waiting for the big activation day. The waiting was hard as my mind was filled with constant wondering about what hearing with a cochlear implant was going to be like. The distraction of work was a good thing until there was a change in the people around me. I could see them talking, but nobody would tell me what was going on. The co-worker next to me was crying and though she was usually willing to talk to me so I could read her lips, she was unable to even look at me and tell me what was going on - until she was able to say, “Paula is okay.” My daughter Paula is a flight attendant with United Airlines.

After my mother-in-law had called the office and told the receptionist to tell me that she talked with Paula and that she was on the ground in Cincinnati, my co-workers then did their best to tell me what was happening. Some of them decided to leave work early so I did too. I wanted to know more about what was going on and I needed a TV with closed captioning and the comfort of familiar communication with family. At home, I watched in silence the horrors of the attacks and the updates the media provided. The captioning on my TV being my link to the world.

Today, I remember the horror of September 11, 2001. I pray for my country and my fellow Americans and find comfort in the tributes and memorials created in the process of healing. As I reflect on all this, I am reminded how far our souls travel from sadness to joy and silence to sound. 

Silver Wings

While driving home from work today, I was listening to a CD that I put together a couple of years ago with a variety of songs on it. About ten minutes into my 40 minute commute, I heard what seemed like wind or a whistle in my car. I remember thinking, “Oh great, my car is making a new sound.” As I focused and tried to figure out what was making this new sound, I came to realize it was in the music! I muted the CD player and it went away, so I turned it back on and listened. I played the song again and really listened. Is it a piccolo or strings? I listened again - I think it is strings! It is a whole orchestra and I can hear the strings! I have been looking on YouTube trying to find the version of the song I was listening to, but I’m not finding it. The song is “The Ballad of the Green Beret.” I am hearing the soft start up of the strings when they begin the crescendo at the words “silver wings.”

I have had my implants 9 years on the left and 3 years on the right and I am still experiencing improvement! I have been procrastinating about scheduling a mapping thinking there hasn’t been enough change to warrant an appointment with my audiologist, but now I’m thinking otherwise.

One of my earliest memories of really knowing that there were things I could not hear was in 9th grade typing class. I never did hear a typewriter bell. How I ever got through that class with a B, I will never know. As I was enjoying hearing more of a song I have liked probably since I was in 9th grade, I was thinking that my cochlear implants give me such wonderful hearing it just might be possible to hear better than normal someday.

Getting off the Roller Coaster

Something wonderful happens to people after they have had their cochlear implants for a while. They get on with life!

As a late-deafened adult and cochlear implant recipient, I know the emotional roller coaster of losing one’s hearing; the life and relationship issues that go with that; and finally the high of getting sound back. Definitely “emotional roller coaster” is the right descriptive phrase.

Have you ever ridden a roller coaster? What can you do when you are riding one? About all you can do is ride. You might talk with the person next to you, laugh, or yell, or scream, but you won’t be composing a report or holding a meeting.

As my hearing loss progressed, I participated in life less and less. I quit going to movies, parties or anything that involved a large noisy group or a large room that might echo sound. I stopped using the phone and pretty much limited my communication to family and close friends. Anything beyond that was intimidating, like standing up in a roller coaster. If I had to be on this ride, then I was going to stay seated in my little box and hang on so I felt safe. I might look at the scenery once in a while, but it was easier not to.

I like the feeling of getting off a roller coaster. That first step of putting solid ground under your feet feels so reassuring. I love looking around and being able to walk away and put some distance between me and a ride that I don’t like.

With my cochlear implants, I can get off the ride. I’ve got the ground under my feet again. I can walk away and join the world for the day and I don’t have to get back on until the sun is down and the roller coaster sleeps.

It is fun though, especially when you don’t like a ride, to go on the ride with friends. I attended my first Hearing Loss Association of America (HLAA) convention this year in June. It was a wonderful experience and the first time I really enjoyed the ride, the hearing loss roller coaster. When we get on the roller coaster together, we hug, we smile, we share the ride and we laugh!

I have noticed that many of the friends I have made through my blog, the Bionic Ear Association, the HLAA and the online forum, Hearing Journey, are getting off the roller coaster and walking away. They have other things to do and lives to live. What a wonderful thing this is!

Jonathan's Cochlear Implant Activation 8 mo., Rt Ear cont'd

I love watching this little guy's reaction to his activation. It is so moving.